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Commitment doesn't complain

  • Published
  • By Major Darryl Hebert
  • 20th Force Support Squadron
“Ethun, can you please unload the dishwasher?”

“But Dad, that’s Gavyn’s job!”

“I understand that, but I am asking you to do it.”

“I already finished my chores and now I have to do his too?”

The above is real dialogue between father and son, which occurred one evening in the Hebert household.

Now, if you live in the Hebert household, you would know that Dad often finds ways to coach, teach and mentor his kids. Chancie (my spouse) and I have three boys and one girl: Jagger, 16; Gavyn, 13; Ethun, 11; and Grace, almost two.

In the moment Ethun started to complain that he was “asked” to complete his brother’s chores, I had a few options:

Backtrack and call Gavyn downstairs.

Just tell Ethun to do it because I “asked” him to.

Or explain the concept that “commitment does not complain.”

I chose the latter and the conversation went something like this:

“Son, when you get older and start working, you will have a boss,” I said. Even if you start your own business, you will work for your customers. If your boss or a customer ‘asks’ you to do something outside of your normal day-to-day work, are you going to say no, yes with comments, or yes with commitment?

“You should want to be the ‘go-to’ person no matter what task, job or career you chose in life.

“Successful people are committed to their boss, to the people they work with, to the mission of the organization, and they do not complain or redirect work when asked to help out. In fact, really committed people usually do things outside their ‘job jar’ without being ‘asked!’

“You see son, I want you to be a young person made of such character that you are fully committed, reliable and accountable to all things you are associated with. I asked you to finish your brother’s chores because he is studying for a tough test, so he needs the maximum time available to study.

“If you are wondering why I did not just tell you the reason, does the reason matter?

“If your heart was titled more toward being humble and kind versus proud and envious, perhaps you would have not complained to begin with. Perhaps if you would have trusted me, as your dad, that I was not abusing you or punishing you by asking you to do more, but I asked you to do it because I trusted you would do it right, right away, and without complaint?

“Now, how about those dishes?”

I am happy to report Gavyn crushed the test and we celebrated the “A” together as a family, as a team. Because I explained the dishwasher situation to Gavyn, he thanked Ethun for the extra support and offered to repay him by doubling-down on all of the chores.

I call that Victory by Valor!