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Focus on marriages

  • Published
  • By Chaplain (Capt.) Lane Campbell
  • 20th Fighter Wing Chaplain's Office
Love is patient.

Love is kind.

Love never fails.

These three biblical statements are often challenging in a normal marriage, and even more in the demands of a military environment. As a marriage and family chaplain here, with the longer and more-frequent deployment cycles, I am seeing more and more marriages struggling to survive. So I strive to build up ministries needed specifically for families and marriages.

In order to accomplish this task, there are two specific areas in which we have focused: First, we provide assistance to deployed family members left behind while a spouse/father/mother serves in a deployed location. Second, we assist in healing marriages that need help following lengthy periods of separation.

We periodically host "MarriageCare," a retreat held in romantic Charleston, S.C. The retreat is designed as a wonderful time away for couples to deepen their marital love and commitment. The schedule is relaxed, with a mix of short talks, thought-provoking discussions, and individual couple time. It is suitable for all faiths. It is designed as a child-free weekend and is always free for active-duty military, which includes two nights lodging, five meals and snacks.

The retreat takes each couple through a series of reflections drawn from their wedding vows, those simple yet sacred words, spoken on a wedding day. The sessions focus on "I take thee," "to have and to hold," "for better or worse," and "to love and cherish." The sessions are developed to reintroduce each couple and remind them of the value of their marriage, both in the eyes of God and each other, no matter how difficult the marriage is or will become.

The other focus is on families who are separated due to a deployment or a remote. Each month, a church in the local community sponsors an evening meal and children's craft projects on the base at a deployed family dinner. Families arrive to a bouncy house set up in the facility and a hot meal prepared by the local church. Base agencies are there as well, represented at booths to remind attendees of the support available to a mother/father while their spouse is deployed. The children's food table is always a big hit and the desserts are plentiful.

There is no 'program," per se, for the deployed family dinners; it is come-and-go once after the opening prayer and introductions. Resources are available to take home. The dinners have become so popular that churches in Sumter are waiting in line to host such an event for the base.

The United States Air Force Chapel Corps wants both singles and families cared for. Chapel Team Shaw strives to do just that, providing both a couple and family focus. We have been able to not only provide couples an opportunity to enhance their marriages, but focus on the nucleus of the family with spiritually-based and theoretically-sound principles.