Tempers can flair with summer heat Published July 2, 2009 By Patti Busser Family Advocacy Outreach Manager SHAW AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. -- South Carolina. Summer means heat. Constant, muggy heat. Summer means kids are out of school, and family life can be a bit more chaotic. Long days + heat + kids hanging around the house bickering and complaining about nothing to do = harder to keep your cool. Don't despair. There are simple things you can do to help keep the peace even in the summer heat: "Keep the Sleep" - One of the biggest mistakes we make in the summer is to get out of a good bedtime routine. All parents have heard the summertime cries from young kids, "...but it's still light outside!" In fact, as adults we try to cram more and more activities into the evening hours during the summer, too. The bottom line is kids still need a good night of sleep and parents still need some evening "down time" after the kids go to bed, even if the days are longer. We all know when children are tired they can get grouchy, just as when we are tired we also get grouchy. When everyone is tired, it is very easy to lose our cool with children. Set a reasonable summer bedtime and be consistent. It makes sense that if everyone is well rested they will enjoy the summertime activities so much more! "Keep It Simple" - We are all busy and summer only adds to the mayhem. On top of our already busy schedules, we try to schedule as much "fun" as we possibly can for our family. We even feel guilty if we do not pack our summer with vacation trips, summer camps, family reunions, beach trips, and so much more. How much is realistic? How much can we afford? When parents are stressed, the children will be too. If you are pulling your hair out trying to accomplish an unrealistic summer agenda and trying to pay for it all, your frustration will overflow to your relationship with your children. Set a realistic agenda for your families summer based on the amount of time you have, the amount of money, AND the amount of support you have. Some families have the luxury of being near the grandparents or having grandparents who are willing to travel, and they can help manage the children to lend a helping hand along the way. In that case, you may be able to accomplish more. If you do not have the luxury of relatives near-by, do not let it get you down. Plan the kind of trips and activities that you can manage on your own. There are so many fun activities for kids that are not too expensive. One of the simplest summertime activities is, of course, swimming! Kids love it. Shaw, Sumter and Fort Jackson all have swimming pools and water activities. One advantage they offer for parents is that swimming pools and water parks have trained and certified lifeguards. Sometimes, we like the convenience of a backyard swimming pool but then Mom or Dad take on the added responsibility of safety. Why not take advantage of a community pool where the lifeguards can look out for safety and the parents only have to be concerned about the parenting? Just remember the sun screen! Another great resource here is the base library. Shaw has a great, modern, library with a fantastic children's' section, as well as a teen section. They have a weekly story-time program and are always working on new ways to get kids interested in reading. It is free, cool, and close to home! "Keep Connected" - Sometimes, life is hard on us no matter the season of the year. Additionally, military families face added challenges including deployments and PCSs. It is easy to feel isolated and alone when your spouse is deployed or when you are just arriving at a new base. Parents who feel they have no one to turn to can become overwhelmed and they lose their temper with the children. However, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are so many resources at Shaw AFB to help parents and families who might be struggling. The New Parent Support Program is available to any military family from the time they find out they are expecting until the youngest child is three years old. The New Parent Support Nurses can come to your home (whether you live on-base or off-base) and provide one on one support to you about an array of parenting topics such as potty-training, discipline for toddlers, nutritional issues, child development, and much more. It is like having your own "parenting coach." (895-6091) The Family Advocacy Program offers "strength-based services" to military families who are struggling with parenting issues or difficult relationship issues. "Strength-based services" means they help you identify your family's strengths and use those strengths to improve your parenting and relationship skills. (895-6201) Military One Source can help you identify a local counselor if your family needs counseling service. Also, check out the Military One Source web site at www.militaryonesource.com. There is a huge amount of resources such as CDs, DVDs, books and pamphlets on a large number of topics including military family issues. (1-800-342-9647) The Airmen and Family Readiness Center can help families with deployment issues, including a deployment support group, as well as financial education and counseling, and relocating support. (895-1252) The Shaw chapel is a great resource for counseling as well as having an array of spiritual education such as Sunday school and worship services. There is nothing like the peacefulness of the chapel sanctuary to cool things down and help put things in perspective. (895-1107) For teens, the youth center has a wide variety of summer programs and summer camps, and their prices rival those you would find anywhere in town. (895-2251) For brief counseling and education to military families, Shaw has a military family life consultant available. (803-840-8265) So, don't let the heat get to you and send your temper into overdrive. It is easy to get overwhelmed, but keep your cool with the kids! There is help and support, and keeping things simple and realistic can keep everyone on the right track this summer.