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Hearts Apart: reaching out

  • Published
  • By By Senior Airman Amber E. N. Jacobs
  • 20th Fighter Wing Public Affairs
SHAW AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. --  Bright camera flashes and the smell of pizza and hairspray filled the air, as children ran around a small group of foldout seats laughing as they played musical chairs.

While the children were distracted, mothers and wives eagerly talked to one another as they took turns getting their hair and makeup done for pictures they were about to take as Valentine's Day gifts for loved ones far away.

To an outsider, the event looked like a typical mom's night out however, all of the families had one thing in common, they all had a loved one who was either deployed or serving in a remote location.

When a service member is called upon to deploy or serve in a remote location, a support-group known as Hearts Apart springs into action to provide comfort and assistance to family members who are separated from loved ones.

Hearts apart recently held their Valentine's Day event, glamour shots for spouses Jan. 11, here.

"Hearts Apart started off as a support-group for spouses to come together and share common issues," explained Master Sgt. Brian Melton, 20th Force Support Squadron readiness non-commissioned officer. "Eventually it evolved into all of the fun stuff we do today because who wants to come to a boring support group and just sit around? So we started doing themed events instead of just support group meetings."

The monthly events vary in a wide range of activities, from pool parties, to glamour-shots photos for Valentine's day, to a junior deployment line.

"I'm very much a variety person, and they have different events every month which is exciting to me," said Master Sgt. Leandra Koerper, former superintendent of the 609th Air Communications Squadron. "They also have activities for the kids. Even though my children are really young, they still have people willing to watch them. Like right now, my little girl is asleep in somebody's arms while Adam my son is coloring."

Koerper and her two children have been coming to Hearts Apart events since her husband Master Sgt. Paul Koerper, 20th Equipment Maintenance Squadron assistant NCOIC of precision guided munitions, deployed in October.

"It gives you something to look forward to when you and your husband are apart," Koerper added. "You look for stuff to fill that void so you're not moping around the house, or saying 'woe is me,' or tearing your hair out as to what to do with the kids."

This is the second deployment Koerper and her husband have gone through together since they started their family more than five years ago and the first since having their two children.

"Bedtime has been very challenging without him," explained Koerper. "It is rare to have both kids in bed before 8 p.m. which is why coming to Hearts Apart events is important to me, since it provides an opportunity to make connections outside of work and focus on my family by talking to others who can relate."

While many of the spouses come to Hearts Apart to get a break from their kids or to socialize, others come as an indirect way to seek assistance.

"They might not call you when there is a problem, but if you get them face-to-face and through casual conversation ask how things are going and they respond 'well, not too good,' the door opens and we can help them," Melton said. "You'd be surprised sometimes at how much they will open up."

"Family sustainment programs like this are important because they ensure family members are taken care of, so our warriors downrange can focus on what we sent them to do," added Melton.

One of the main goals of the Hearts Apart program is to get in contact with family members from information collected during pre-deployment briefings, unfortunately many service members choose not to disclose their family information so many spouses fall through the cracks while their loved ones are deployed, explained Melton.

"If a spouse of a deployed or remote toured service member is not receiving constant communication with me, and they are not on my email list then they are missing out on some really wonderful programs," concluded Melton.

For more information on the next Hearts Apart function, contact Master Sgt. Brian Melton at the Airman and Family Readiness Center at 803-895-1255 or by email at Brian.Melton@shaw.af.mil.