Getting through the first years of marriage Published Oct. 5, 2006 By Senior Airman Holly MacDonald 20th Fighter Wing Public Affairs SHAW AIR FORCE BASE, S.C -- (Editor's note: This is the second in a marriage series.) After the honeymoon is over, married life begins. Making it through the first few years of marriage may take more work than a couple expects. There are key areas a couple can work on, and adjustments they can be aware of, which may make the first years an easy transition. The first key area for newlyweds to consider is to continue dating. The couple should keep the romantic sparks alive and continue the regular dating throughout the entire marriage, said Chaplain (Capt.) Cregg Chandler. Another key area in the beginning of a marriage is to discuss expectations. The couple should discuss who will perform which household tasks. Cleaning, cooking and other chores should be divided between the couple, he said. One of the major adjustments for couples to be aware of is the transition from single life. There are things they could do before which may no longer be appropriate, such as going out alone. The couple should decide how they will communicate and negotiate when plans come up which may not involve the other person. The couple should always make sure their partner is okay with any plans or decisions made, Chaplain Chandler said. Another adjustment is deciding on which friends will be included or excluded in the new marriage. Some single friends may have a negative affect on the marriage, there may be pressure on one of the spouses to "party" and still live the single lifestyle. The ideal scenario is for the newlyweds to have mutual friends, he said. Couples should be cautious with "girl's night" or "guy's night" out. There is a time to have fun with friends, just make sure the spouse is comfortable and knows the who, what, when and where of the night out, Chaplain Chandler said. During all of the adjustments a couple should be constantly exploring tools to sharpen their relationship, he said. One tool which should be avoided is discussing marital problems with parents. If at all possible, family should not be brought into marriage issues, the couple should try and solve problems themselves, Chaplain Chandler said. When it comes to parents, newlyweds should also make sure time is spent with each family equally. The couple should share the time and respect each other's family, he said. The newlyweds have now begun their family. However, it is also recommend in most situations, the couple wait at least 3 years before having children. Children will demand more attention and time, which needs to be spent getting to know each other better, Chaplain Chandler said. Each couple and situation is different, but any couple may benefit from focusing on these basic areas and adjustments.