Psychological wounds leave invisible scars Published Oct. 27, 2006 By Tarsha Storey 20th Fighter Wing Public Affairs SHAW AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. -- It may not leave any visible wounds, bruises or scars, but psychological, emotional or mental abuse is sometimes more damaging than physical abuse, said Patti Busser, 20th Medical Operations Squadron Family Advocacy outreach manager. Ms. Busser said the abuse can lead to sleeping problems, depression, low self esteem, lack of trust in others, feelings of abandonment, anger, sensitivity to rejection, diminished mental and physical health, inability to work, poor relationships with others and substance abuse. Emotional abuse happens anytime someone attacks the character of a person, tries to inhibit their freedom or attempts to incite fear, Ms. Busser said. The abuser oftentimes stalks the victim and invades the victim's privacy. Abusers also use berating behavior, name calling, restrictions on time with family or friends, restrictions on financial or community resources, or threats to harm children, pets or themselves, said Cheryl Christmas, 20th MDOS Family Advocacy treatment manager. Emotional abuse is all about control, Ms. Busser said. The abuser feels he or she needs to control the victim to keep him or her in the relationship. Insecurity and the inability to trust the victim can fuel the abuser, causing them to continue this behavior. It often ruins the relationship the abuser is afraid to lose, she added. Emotional abuse tends to come from persons who have low self-esteem, feel powerless, ineffective or inadequate in their lives - despite the fact they may be successful and show no signs of being an abuser, Ms. Busser said. The cycle of repetition can be passed on from parent to child, Ms. Busser said. Children who were reared in a home where domestic violence, whether emotional or physical, was common tend to become abusers in later life. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is common. It can occur in a relationship alone or be the precursor to physical abuse. Because there is no set sign of emotional abuse, many people are confused as to what abuse is and what it is not. It is often hard to admit if you are a victim or an abuser, Ms. Christmas said. Because emotional abuse does not leave visible signs, it is often hard to prove, Ms. Busser said. This leads many victims to let the behavior go unreported and the abuser continues without receiving the help he or she needs to stop the behavior and start working towards a healthy relationship. The family advocacy staff is dedicated to helping Shaw members create better, healthier relationships, Ms. Busser said.