Feeding the flame when the nest empties Published Oct. 12, 2006 By Senior Airman Holly MacDonald 20th Fighter Wing Public Affairs SHAW AIR FORCE BASE, S.C. -- (Editor's note: This is the last of a marriage series.) After years of marriage, raising kids and building a home, eventually the nest empties. As the last child leaves, a couple looks at each other. When was the last time they could devote all of their free time to one another? This is the time for one of two things. If distractions have taken away the focus from one another, the dating process needs to begin again. Begin dating with things such as: romantic dinners, flowers, movies; the whole courtship. If the flame has been kept alive, its time to enjoy the freedom, said Chaplain (Capt.) Cregg Chandler. When it is just the couple, a person may see his or her spouse differently now than during the past years of marriage. There are different ways a couple can reignite their marriage. It's time to rediscover each other. Couples should gather tools, information and principles to sharpen and reignite their relationship, he said. Another way may be to explore vacations they discuss and agree on. The couple may now be able to go places they couldn't before because of obligations to children. This may be difficult for some couples, because it has been so long since they've been alone together, but it can be done, Chaplain Chandler said. While rekindling or simply enjoying the marriage and free time, a couple may also need to be aware of "empty nest" syndrome.The couple needs to understand the dynamics of "empty nest" syndrome. One or both of the partners may accept the children being gone, sometimes one relatively quicker than the other. It may be one or neither of the couple accepts the children being gone, he said. The couple should be aware of each other's feelings and support one another. The couple can explore books on "empty nest" syndrome to help cope with their feelings. All kinds of feelings may arise during this time in a marriage; fear, excitement, anticipation, maybe sadness from children leaving. However, this is the time a couple can look at each other and wonder, what are we doing together tonight?